Demotivated

I'm not sure why am i so demotivated for the past few days. Is it because of my incomplete dossier? Or is it because of my unfinished assignments? There are tons of works and assignments to do, and i felt a little bit depressed due to my incapabilities to finish them on time? Am i too weak to be a capable student who can overcome all sorts of obstacles and hindrance in front of him? Or am I too arrogant for the past few years which causes me to be living in my own isolated world.

It is tougher than my high school year; it is much more tougher, as i can conclude.

Being in a confusing and confounding state after doing my ethic study, i found myself totally reluctant to study in order to push myself to another peak of my limit. Sitting here now is a boy who can't even find the location of money collector on the automatic good selling machine ( you know, the machine that you can dip money into it. Then you can choose your own preferred drinks from the machine) or understand the proper meaning of (摸你就走）touch n go.

I need to think critically, and faithfully by this critical moment. God let me discover the book of critical thinking definitely has His own meaning and reason. I should always believe in his pathway and follow his guidance. However, should i just stand here and do nothing? This is quite a paradoxical question to most of the Christians.

Just act accordingly and think aptly, i supposed... ... I need to analysis every situation as precisely as possible. Now there is no time for childish plays just to fulfill my egocentric desire!

Dossier is unable to complete in the remaining time. And i lack teacher's recommendation letter from my high school as most of my high school teachers are not good at English. There are some of my English teachers who can help me to write my recommendation letters, one is from Mr Stephen Ong, and the another one is from Beatrice. However, i am unable to contact with Mr Ong at the very moment, yet Beatrice is a virago who is easily irritated especially if you disturb her when she is in her "busy" mode. Haizzz zzz, may be it is worth trying, right? At least she is quite affable at the back (sometimes), but sarcasm isn't what i really need, at least not now.

God, guide me in my application, for my ambiguity, for my anxiety, for my desperate calling to know the truth. I need the spirit of forgiveness to pour love into my heart, so i can forgive others with care... ...

Give me strength, for you are the source of strength, for you are the source of motivation, for you are the helpers who can solve any problems that are beyond our understanding. My faith towards you will not be refuted by others who doubt your existence skeptically, who cast hatred against you.

I am motivated again... ....