i am angry, nope, i am sad and frustrated

these few days were my moodiest days. after suspecting i got sow flu, which it ended up to be just a false alert. thanks god for saving me from ah1n1 this deadly disease. i want to help preventing this disease, not spreading it. besides, i cant imagine my life what if i really get ah1n1.

however, things started to get nasty when i found out that i lost my phone. my precious nokia 5800, i lost it accidentally, or got it stolen by anyone, including my roomate which i am still suspecting him now. somehow, i cannot blame anyone for the lost of my phone, everything is because of my carelessness and my unconscious. I had lost my phone for 3 times in this one whole year. sometimes i really damn myself for my carelessness. my mood was really down for the last whole weekend, which i felt totally neglected by my friends.

Where were they? what were they doing? Why were they not calling me? If yes, why they didnt realise that i had lost my phone?

i felt abandoned, i felt neglected. i felt a total loneliness.

i cried, not because i had lost my phone. i cried because i had no true friends who really cared about me despite i had all those long list of contact numbers. what is the point to have such a long list of friends while there is none of them your true friends which can really lend you a hand when you are in need?

A friend in need is a friend indeed. the only idiomatic phrase that i can remember.

my phone might have got stolen, but my spirit of studying can never be challenged, despite the fact that i am in denver now... ...

somehow i really do wonder, what is the true meaning of friend? Are those who share your happiness your friends??

for a boy, it is hard to find a male friend who really does share your hardship with you. They will just laugh at your suffering, and pretend nothing happens.

to me, a friend is a person who share happiness with you but readily lend you a hand when you are in need.
They understand you, they listen to you, they appreciate your friendship, they are readily sacrifice for you

They laugh with you, they smile to you, they appreciate your existance, they are readily show you their love

thanks those who accompanied me when i was down in the deepest abyss facing those obstacles.